American Children: Hey, can we be murdered a little less please?
Republicans: What the fuck? What about my guns? What about me, a person innocently playing with my death-machines as a hobby? I am the real victim here. Kids these days are so entitled…
one of my students turned in a paper that entirely ignored the actual assignment to spend three pages ranting about how Kids These Days Are All Entitled Shits Because No One Ever Let Them Experience Failure, and I’m just like, well, we can solve that for one of you
apparently when i was born the…guy after the midwife? the baby doctor? was this russian guy with HUGE hands who just sorta. squeezed my head (my dad says he was worried that he was gonna crush me like a coke can) and was like “this is a strong baby”
You can tell how someone’s mental health is doing by paying attention to how much emphasis they put on the line “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all” when they’re singing bohemian rhapsody
